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Tahun lalu, Ben Affleck menjadi berita utama karena memberikan kesan bahwa dia sedang marah. Setelah membuka pintu mobil untuk istrinya, Jennifer Lopez, dia menutupnya dengan kekuatan yang penonton anggap lebih dari yang diperlukan.
Banyak yang mengatakan bahwa dia juga terlihat marah saat duduk di samping istrinya di acara Grammy 2023. (Kemudian, Affleck menjelaskan bahwa ekspresinya lebih banyak berkaitan dengan aksi improvisasi pembawa acara acara tersebut, Trevor Noah).
Pada awal Mei, Affleck muncul tanpa teman di penghormatan Netflix pada Tom Brady, dan keesokan harinya Lopez datang tanpa suaminya ke gala Met.
Bagi banyak orang, pembatalan tiba-tiba tur musim panasnya minggu lalu (mungkin karena penjualan tiket yang rendah) adalah bukti terakhir yang dibutuhkan para penggemar untuk menyimpulkan bahwa pernikahan mereka sedang dalam krisis.
Rumors of problems between Lopez and Affleck, whose breakup and reunion story may be one of the most analyzed celebrity relationships in Hollywood history, began about a year after their surprise wedding in 2022. (The couple canceled their first engagement 20 years ago). But, who can say that the couple’s schedules have made it difficult for them to attend events together? Perhaps Affleck’s apparent bad mood had nothing to do with his wife when he closed the car door?
The frenetic speculation has only increased the already overwhelming attention they receive. This past weekend, they were surrounded by a group of paparazzi taking photos as they left Affleck’s son’s basketball game in Santa Monica. This time, they were seen happily together, even exchanging a kiss on the cheek.
A new love is delicate in the best of circumstances, but especially when it is rekindled. And when it comes to two high-profile celebrities, the scrutiny they are under becomes even harsher. At this moment, only the couple knows if they are really headed for divorce, but the world will be watching for any signs of which way the winds blow.
For a regular person, that scrutiny and pressure still feel, albeit on a smaller scale. It can come from loved ones, worried that you are making a mistake, or from the parasocial viewers of your social media, thirsty for breakup rumors.
According to Lisa Marie Bobby, psychologist and relationship coach, it is very common for people to get back together after working on themselves and to have a second chapter that is more positive than the first. But during the breakup process, it is also common to speak negatively about the relationship to friends and family, which can tarnish their perception of the partner, so she recommends resisting the temptation to tell loved ones all the intimate details and, instead, talking to a professional.
“There is often a lot of anger, pain, resentment, and when we are in that emotional space, we tend to be binary in our thinking,” she said. “And when we are in that space, that is the narrative we are telling other people.”
Of course, when a relationship is toxic or even abusive, her advice is the opposite. Loved ones can help someone find the strength to leave it instead of entering and exiting the same relationship.
“They often benefit from the comments of those who really love them and care about them,” Bobby explained.
If there is skepticism about a rekindled romantic relationship, Bobby recommends doing some “relationship PR” and talking to friends and family who may have a negative impression of the ex and assuring them that both have overcome previous issues.
Any reunion between two exes, no matter how beautiful and passionate, occurs on unstable ground. What if it doesn’t work out this time and ends up being a waste of time? Is it a search for destiny or an act of conformity? Can trust be rebuilt or will old toxic cycles persist? Bobby said one of the main reasons people feel this anxious is that they have not resolved the issues of the previous relationship.
“There is a lot of power in doing very deep work,” she said. “If they are going to try again in a relationship, both people need to have a clear understanding of what went wrong the first time.”
Gina Cherelus covers dating, relationships, and sex for the Times and writes the weekly dating column Third Wheel. More from Gina Cherelus